This past weekend, I had my first experience as a bridesmaid/maid of honor, and I learned that being a bridesmaid is hard AF. There are some things I did well, but for the most part, I am just glad that I didn’t get fired in the middle of the wedding (my friend is too nice).

Here are all the things I did wrong:

The bouquets

Who forgets the beautiful, expensive bouquets the bride handpicked? This girl. I totally left the bouquets at the hotel and realized my mistake AFTER we got to Grand Central (for the photos).

I should’ve been hit in the face with a heavy object. Multiple times.

The shoes

During the ceremony, I probably looked like this:

But in fact, this is how I felt on the inside:

Never wear painful shoes as a bridesmaid. I knew this and yet decided to not listen to my own advice. Running around the city with highest of the heels was not fun (while holding bags and wedding dress train and veil and shame and guilt of forgetting the bouquets).

 

The snacks

I bought all these awesome snacks from Trader Joe’s (aka where I want to be buried when I die) but forgot to bring them to the venue (again, I left everything — including my own left brain — at the hotel). Ugh. Poor bride had nothing to eat until dinner. I would’ve offered my thigh for her to cook and eat, but I would’ve bled through my dress. Not cute.

Phone numbers

I had nobody’s cell phone numbers, so I had to literally run around looking for people — wedding coordinator, parents, people in the wedding, etc — while wearing my torture devices on my poor feet.

Now, not everything I did was terrible. I did some things well. Like the following:

The dress

I didn’t have a lot of time to shop for the dress, so I went to Macy’s and bought one and ordered 6 more dresses from Amazon (thank you, Amazon Prime, one-day shipping service) JUST IN CASE I did not fit into the dress and/or it didn’t match well with what the bride wanted.

Oh, and I ended up going with a dress from Amazon. $35, baby.

The crybaby

There was an actual crying person in the hotel room when we were getting ready the morning of the wedding, and it was not a family member nor the bride.

This person who shall not be named had the audacity to stress out the bride with her non-wedding-related problem, so I had to pull her into a bathroom (I did not know her before the wedding) and tell her, “Hey, I know you’re going through something, but pull yourself together and shut the f*ck up before the bride. She’s got enough to be nervous about,” through my clenched teeth.

It is the bridesmaid’s job to make sure that the bride is completely unaware of any issues. Whatever it is, it can wait. The wedding must go on.

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Whatever I did or didn’t do, I am just so happy that two awesome people got married, and I didn’t ruin it in any noticeable way (or did I? Let me know secretly if I did).

Cheers to love!

Do you have any “almost-ruined-a-wedding” mistake stories? Any tips for future bridesmaids?