She’s a keeper if…(friend edition)

In your teen years, friends are basically everyone you know. In your 20s, friends are who you go out with and eat brunch with (while hungover) the next day. In your 30’s, things change a bit. There’s just not enough time on your calendar to keep all your friends. So how do you know which one’s worth your time?

Here’s a simple guide to weed out fake friends, so you can have more time for the keepers.

When you complain that you got fat (and you actually did:

Fake friend

Keeper friend

…then she’ll tell you to get off your ass and start working out. So much love.

When you complain about the same shit you’ve been complaining about for the last 3 years:

Fake friend

Keeper friend

…but you she actually cares. But she also knows to tell you to shut up when it’s not doing you any good.

When you hang out with new friends one night without telling her:

Fake friend

Keeper friend

Then she will burn down your house because she loves you and you are hers and hers only.

When you wear something a bit too slutty:

Fake friend

Keeper friend

She’s like, “I am NOT dealing with weirdos old men hitting on you for the next 8 hours. Go change.” 

When you say something that hurts her feeling but apologize later:

Fake friend

“Everything’s fine.” ::doesn’t text you for the two weeks::

Real friend

She calls you out when you say mean things and demands apologies, but she also doesn’t hold grudges. She understands that you’re a well-meaning asshole and would not survive without her friendship.

When you’re dating the wrong guy:

Fake friend

“…but maybe he’ll turn out to be just fine!”

Real friend

…and if you still don’t stop…

…but if you’re still dating him…

…and THAT, ladies, is how you know that she’s a keeper.


How do YOU spot a fake friend? Have you ever been a fake friend to someone? And how do you know that a friend is a keeper?


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