[This was written back in July when I was actually at a terrible job. I am currently at a WAYYYY better company (yay!), so if anyone from my work is reading this, please don’t get me fired] 

When I say stuff like, “Oh, I’m ugly” or “I am fat,” you shouldn’t take me seriously because in reality, this is how I view myself:

However, when I say that I have a crappy job that eats away at my soul, please take me seriously because I mean it.

But there are upsides to everything, and so here are some things I enjoy about having a job that I hate with all of my heart.

Not feeling guilty about leaving on time

When I used to be a teacher, I never left on time. I wanted to stay late even though nobody made me because that’s what I wanted to do and it was an important job. I always wanted to give 200% to my work.

But now?

Wearing whatever I want

Having a shitty job is like dating a guy you know you’re not gonna marry. Hey, if I wanted to meet your parents, I would dress like a nun-turned-teacher.

So when my manger keeps telling me to wear a blazer to meetings (“you have to look like a professional”), I ignore her. I can’t afford to buy a blazer when the company pays me two potatoes an hour.

Accidentally doing a good job

And feeling super awkward about it. But hey, I will accept the compliment.

Using all the vacations days

…because I will not be staying at the company for long anyway. Saving the days for the future? What future? There is no future here.

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I know complain about work all the time,  but I am feeling optimistic! The glass is always half full!

Just kidding. I feel like crap. But you know what? I am a firm believer in this: you get what you deserve.

And I am getting exactly what I deserve for majoring in English literature and dropping out of law school.

Please give me a hug. And a dollar. And a better job.